"How Long Do They Live" joke
I am sure I have read this poem in some anthology of nonsense verse. I reproduce it for the simple reason that it is easily understood, has amusing rhyme and gives us some idea of the longevity of some animals and birds. It is entitled "In Defence of Drinking"
The horse and mule live thirty years,
And nothing know of wines and beers.
The goat and sheep at twenty die,
With never a taste of Scotch or rye.
The cow drinks water by the ton,
And at eighteen is mostly done.
The dog at sixteen crashes in,
Without the aid of rum or gin.
The cat in milk and water soaks,
Then in twelve short years it croaks.
The modest sober bone dry hen,
Lays eggs for wogs and dies at ten.
All animals are strictly dry,
They sinless live and swiftly die.
But sinful ginful rum-soaked men,
Survive for three score years and ten.
And some of us, the mighty few,
Stay pickled till we're 92!
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