"How To Keep A Healthy Level of Insanity" joke

At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down. Reply to everything someone says with, "That's what you think." Finish all your sentences with "In accordance with the prophecy." Adjust the tint on your monitor so that the brightness level lights up the entire work area. Insist to others that you like it that way. Dont use any punctuation As often as possible, skip rather than walk. Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go." Sing along at the opera. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood. Call 911 and ask if 911 is for emergencies. Call the psychic hotline and don't say anything. When the money comes out of the ATM, scream "I Won!", "I Won!" "3rd time this week!!!" When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling "Run for your lives, they're loose!" Tell your boss, "It's not the voices in my head that bother me, its the voices in your head that do."Tell your children over dinner. "Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go." Every time you see a broom, yell "Honey, your mother is here!"

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