"How do you double the value of a Ford Pinto?" joke

How do you get frostbite? Cross a snowman with a vampire.

How do you get holy water?
Boil the hell out of it.
What did the fish say when he hit a concrete wall?
"Dam!"
What do prisoners use to call each other?
Cell phones
What do you call a boomerang that doesn't work?
A stick
What do you call more...

Hey, did you hear about the...
Paper company that folded?
Brake company on the skids?
Bra manufacturers that went bust?
Surgeon who was forced to take a cut in his salary?
Cigarette company that went up in smoke?
Baker who was short of more...

How do you confuse a blonde?
Put her in a circular and tell her to pee in a corner.
How does the blonde confuse you?
She pees in a corner

1) You define summer as three months of bad sledding.
2) You think alkaline batteries were named for a tiger outfielder.
3) Your idea of a seven-course meal is a six-pack of beer and a bucket of smelt.
4) Owning a Japanese car was a hanging offense in your more...