"I Don't Respect Your Beliefs" joke

What are you, fucking stupid? Why would the creator of the universe give a shit what kind of hat you wear or count how many times you rub some beads or kneel and face a certain direction? Does your God have OCD?

You: Oh great and powerful God, what do you ask of me?

God: I need you to wash your feet three times a day, then kneel and face due north for ten full minutes while wearing a snorkel. You do the hokey pokey and you turn yourself around. That's pretty much what it's all about.
You: Wow, that's sounds crazy as dwarf shit, but I'll do it because I'm a weak-willed imbecile who's so terrified of what happens after death that I'll believe anything in a boring book written before pants were invented! I'll also scar my children with this nonsense, and do my best to push it on other people!

God: Dude, I totally appreciate it. Now if you'll excuse me I'll be in heaven saving my urine and feces in bottles and growing a huge, crazy beard.

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