"I Have It In My Possession" joke
Two boys were walking in the woods when one boy spied a nut on the ground. When the other boy picked it up, they started to argue. One boy said, "The nut is mine, I saw it first." The other boy said, "The nut is mine, I have it in my possession." They were just about to fight when, luckily, along came a lawyer. The boys appealed to the lawyer to adjudicate their dispute. The lawyer thanked the boys for the opportunity and said, "I will settle your dispute this way. Because you saw the nut first, I will give you this half. Because you had the nut in your possession, I will give you this half. And, for my fee, I'll keep the kernel."
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