"I need a push" joke
A man and wife were in bed asleep when the wife woke up to hear a voice calling, "I need a push." So she shook her husband awake and asked him to go and see what was going on.
Reluctantly, the husband got up and went to the front door to see who was out there and what was wrong. He heard a very drunken voice calling from outside the house, "I need a push." Disgusted, the man went back to bed and told his wife, "I'm not helping some drunk guy in the middle of the night."
The wife said, "Honey, remember when the car broke down and the two nice men gave you a push? You must do the same for this man in need."
So, grumbling, the husband went back to the door and called, "Are you still there?"
A voice said, "Yes." The husband said, "Where are you?
The voice said, "Over here on the swing."
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