"If Men Ruled The World" joke

Any fake phone number a girl gave you would automatically
forward your call to her real number.
Nodding and looking at your watch would be deemed an accep-
table response to "I love you."
Hallmark would make "Sorry, what was your name again?" cards.
When your girlfriend really needed to talk to you during the
game, she'd appear in a little box in the corner of the screen
during a time-out.
Breaking up would be a lot easier. A smack to the backside
and a "Nice hustle, you'll get 'em next time" would pretty
much do it.
Birth control would come in ale or lager.
Each year, your raise would be pegged to the fortunes of
the NFL Team of your choice.
The funniest guy in the office would get to be CEO.
At the end of the workday, a whistle would blow and you'd
jump out your window and slide down the tail of a bronto-
saurus and right into your car like Fred Flintstone.
It'd be considered harmless fun to gather 30 friends, put
on horned helmets, and go pillage a nearby town.
Lifeguards could remove citizens from beaches for violating
the "public ugliness" ordinance.
Tanks would be far easier to rent.
Garbage would take itself out.
Instead of beer belly, you'd get "beer biceps."

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