"If she went out with me" joke
A man had been out in the back woods for weeks, cutting logs. He was a bit scruffy and didn't smell very good. Finally he needed a break and came in to town for a few beers.In the bar, he saw the local jock of the town's football team. He was bragging about his girlfriend and how she was lucky to have him for a boyfriend.The lumberjack, after drinking six bottles of beer, was heard to say, "Buddy, if she went out with me, she'd never go out with you ever again."To which the local jock replied, "Hey buddy, if she went out with you, she'd never go out with ANYONE ever again."
Jock once attended a Temperance lecture given by Scotland's top medical man, a noted anti-drink campaigner. The speaker began by placing a live, wriggling worm in a glass of whisky. After a moment or two it died and sank to the bottom.The speaker said quietly to the audience, more...
Once upon a time in a place where little sperms grow, there was a super jock sperm who spent all his time working out. He did things like lifting weights and running, his most important duty. All the other sperm were very curious about his pastimes.
"Why do you keep more...
Young Jock MacTavish got down on his knees to propose to her when a 10p piece dropped out of his pocket and rolled under the sofa. In the 20 minutes it took him to find it she had lost interest.