"I'm not a handyman" joke
You might not be able to tell by looking at me, but I'm not a handyman. I'm not a fix-it guy at all.
I'm the kind of person that looks at a rolled up piece of pink fiberglass insulation and thinks "Wow, that kinda looks like a big piece of sushi!"
I only know to call it "fiberglass insulation" because I had the opportunity to work along side my father-in-law, a contractor.
Imagine my surprise when one day, we were renovating my house, he turned to me and said "Josh. You hammer like lightning."
I was psyched, until I realized that lightning never hits the same spot twice.
Virgin Mary wanted to visit Hell, so she went to God and asked if she might do so. "Yes," God said. "I have only one warning for you. You must stay away from booze, drugs and men. Will you promise me so?" "Yes," Virgin Mary said. "And remember more...
A story is told of a Jewish man who was riding on the subway reading an Arab newspaper. A friend of his, who happened to be riding in the same subway car, noticed this strange phenomenon. Very upset, he approached the newspaper reader.
"Moshe, have you lost your mind? more...
Audrey Greyson was a busy housewife with a demanding husband, six children and a large house. The only relief Audrey got from her chores was the twice-a-week bridge game she shared with a dozen other women. The only flaw in the bridge club relationship was that Audrey loved to more...
An American businessman was at the pier of a small coastal Mexican village when a small boat with just one fisherman docked. Inside the small boat were several large yellow fin tuna.
The American complimented the Mexican on the quality of his fish and asked how long it took more...