"In a bad nursing home" joke

The Top Signs You`re In A Bad Nursing Home
& & 1. Its named Heaven`s Waiting Room.
& & 2. Cheap TV antenna can`t pick up Xena: Warrior Princess.
& & 3. Defibrilator doubles as a remote control.
& & 4. Its named Matlock Manor.
& & 5. No furniture in it outside of beds and lots of caskets.
& & 6. Radio stations alternate between Glenn Miller and broadcasting Last Rites in every language known to man.
& & 7. You can`t ring a nurse but you can page the attorney`s office down the hall.
& & 8. Rectal thermometers made of wood.
& & 9. Two words: Community Bedpan.

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