"Inappropriate Gift Ideas" joke

Invitational Challenge, come up with terribly inappropriate
Christmas gift ideas.

Honorable Mentions
Supersoaker 9000
For use on those hard to reach targets; NFL referees, low flying
planes, and many more. At close range it can strip paint clean
rusty grills, and dig utility trenches.
The Laff-O-Minit Jajic Spellin' Tootor Doggie Dentist
Kids learn about dentistry on the family pooch.
Cuisin-Art
Turns mommy's food processor into a spinning paint tool.
Water Retention Wanda
Teaches kids the principles of the calendar.
Advanced Play Medical Kit
Includes colonoscope and speculum.
Chocolate Covered lead soldiers.
Bungeroo
Kid sized bungee kit for second story bedrooms.
Islamic Strip Poker
Lose a hand, lose a hand.

And the winners are
4th Runner Up
Li'l Naturalist Hornet Farm
3rd Runner Up
A Pee Wee Herman pull toy
2nd Runner Up
The Duncan Yo -- Goes down, never comes back. Teaches children
about warranties.
1st Runner Up
5, 200 pick up -- a jumbo deck of cards that lets kids play a
larger version of their favorite game.
Winner
The "Learn About Puberty Chia Pet"