"Insult Collection #15" joke

If you were a swine, you would be what you are now! You say that you are always bright and early. Well, OK! We know you are early. A half-wit gave you a piece of his mind, and you held on to it. You're nobody's fool. Let's see if we can get someone to adopt you. They say no woman ever made a fool out of you. So who did? You're very smart. You have brains you never used. You're not yourself today. I noticed the improvement immediately. Eventually, you will get what you asked for. Nice to see you on your feet. Who sent the derrick? You are so dishonest that I can't even be sure that what you tell me are lies! You have a good weapon against muggers - your face! You are the answer to my prayer! I prayed to find out if things could get worse!!

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