"I've Got Reggaeton Fever!" joke
Recently I had the unearthly delight of being exposed to reggaeton music for the very first time by my teenage, Dominican, car service driver who was kind enough to blast it at 300 decibels while driving 90 miles an hour and swerving all over the road in order to holler at bitches!
Reggaeton is a fantastic blend of Latin hip hop and plinky bodega music. Its unique sound is created by small groups of Puerto Rican men vigorously rubbing their hind legs against their pencil beards like crickets.
It makes the perfect background music to accompany every day activities like plastering Puerto Rican flags over everything you own, squeezing out yet another bastard child named, "Junior," and good old fashioned parade rape!
A very attractive lady goes up to a bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestures alluringly to the bartender who comes over immediately. When he arrives, she seductively signals that he should bring his face closer to hers. When he does, she begins to gently caress his full more...
A greenhorn visiting Alaska was talking to two old sourdoughs. They informed him he was a cheechako. The greenhorn asked how he could become a sourdough.
The two sourdoughs winked at each other, and told him he had to do three things. First, he had to pee in the Yukon River. more...
Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
I'm hungry:
"I could eat the crotch out of a dead leper's undies."
"I could eat the horse and chase the jockey."
"So hungry I'd eat a shit sandwich, only I don't like bread."
"I could eat the arse out of a rag doll more...
What is the definition of eternity?
Four blondes in four cars at a four way intersection.