"Job search My first job was working in an ..." joke

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My first job was working in an orange juice factory,
but I got canned. .. couldn`t concentrate. Then I worked in the woods as a lumberjack,
but I just couldn`t hack it … so they gave me the axe. After that I tried to be a tailor,
but I just wasn`t suited for it … mainly because it was a so-so job. Next I tried working in a Quick Fit Centre,
but that was exhausting. I wanted to be a barber,
but I just couldn`t cut it. Then I tried to be a chef,
figured it would add spice to my life, but I just didn`t have the thyme. Finally, I attempted to be a deli worker,
but any way I sliced it, I couldn`t cut the mustard. My best job was being a musician,
but eventually I found I wasn`t noteworthy. I studied a long time to become a doctor,
but I didn`t have any patients. Next was a job in a shoe factory,
I tried but I just didn`t fit in. I became a professional fisherman,
but discovered that I couldn`t live on my net income. Thought about becoming a witch,
so I tried that for a spell. I managed to get a job working for a swimming pool maintenance company,
but the work was just too draining. I got a job at a zoo feeding giraffes,
but I was fired because I wasn`t up to it. So then I got a job in a gymnasium,
but they said I wasn`t fit for the job. Next, I found being an electrician interesting,
but the work was shocking.
After years of trying to find work, I finally got a job as an historian,
until I realised there was no future in it. My last job was working at Starbucks Coffee,
but I had to quit because it was always the same old grind. SO I RETIRED, AND I FOUND I AM A PERFECT FIT FOR THE JOB!