"Knock Knock" joke

A very attractive lady goes up to a bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestures alluringly to the bartender who comes over immediately. When he arrives, she seductively signals that he should bring his face closer to hers. When he does, she begins to gently caress his full more...

I was in the restaurant yesterday when I suddenly realized I desperately
needed to pass gas. The music was really, really loud, so I timed my
gas with the beat of the music.

After a couple of songs, I started to feel better. I finished my coffee,
and more...

Ya mama so fat the only thing stopping her from going to Jenny Craig is the door.

All you want for Christmas is a hairline!

you need to shut up with your 1 2 3 way back hairline.