"Launch the missiles" joke
It`s Friday night and President Bill is working late in the White House.
Suddenly the big, red telephone on his desk rings.
[President Bill]
Hello! Hello!
[Voice on the line]
President Bill! We have a report that Boris Yeltsin just ordered the launch of all Russian missiles in a full-scale nuclear attack against the United States!
[President Bill]
Oh no!!!
He said he wouldn`t do that!
That dirty, rotten jerk!
Bill slams the phone down. He goes the receiver back in the red telephone`s cradle.
President Bill grabs the briefcase next to his desk, whirls the combination locks, flings open the lid, and jabs in a series of top-secret access codes. A voice comes over the briefcase speaker.
[Voice on the line]
Mr. President, is this a drill?
[President Bill]
Listen to me.
We`re being attacked by the Russians.
Launch a full-scale response immediately.
[Voice on the line]
Are you sure, sir?
[President Bill]
Yes!!!
Fire the missiles!!!
Fire the missiles now!!!
[Voice on the line]
OK Sir, we`re launching them this minute.
[President Bill]
Thank you, son!
The speaker goes silent and President Bill collapses in his chair. Suddenly, an aid flings open the door and bursts into the room.
[Aid]
Hey Bill! Neat joke, huh?
Sounded real, didn`t it?
Attacked by the Russians! What a gag!
Hey, you want something from the kitchen, Bill?
How about a pizza or something?
Say Bill, are you OK? You look kind of pale.
You OK Bill?
Bill???
Not enough votes...