"Lawyer's Contribution" joke
The staff at a local United Way office realized the town's most successful lawyer had never made a donation, so the person in charge of contributions called him in an attempt to persuade him to contribute.
"Our research shows that out of a yearly income of at least $500,000, you do not give a penny to charity. Wouldn't you like to give back to the community in some small way?" asked the representative.
The lawyer thought this over for a very brief moment and said, "Did your research happen to show that my mother is dying after a lengthy illness, and that she has medical bills that are several times her annual income?"
Feeling embarrassed, the representative muttered, "Umm... No."
"And, did your research show," continued the lawyer, "that my brother, a disabled veteran, is not only blind, but is confined to a wheelchair?"
Feeling even more embarrassed, the representative began to stammer an apology but was interrupted when the lawyer added, "or, that my sister's husband was killed in a traffic accident, leaving her penniless with three children to raise?"
Now completely beaten and deeply humiliated, the representative said, "I'm sorry sir, I had no idea... "
On a roll, the lawyer once again cut him off, "Now, if I don't give them any money, why should I give any to you?"
Not enough votes...