"Life In The Navy 3" joke

Make Your Family Qualify To Operate All The Appliances In Your Home (I. E. Dishwasher Operator, Blender Technician, Etc.).
Walk Around Your Car For 4 Hours Checking The Tire Pressure Every 15 Minutes.

Sit In Your Car And Let It Run For 4 Hours Before Going Anywhere. This Is To Ensure Your Engine Is Properly "Lighted Off."

Empty All The Garbage Bins In Your House, And Sweep Your Driveway 3 Times A Day, Whether They Need It Or Not. (Now Sweepers, Start Your Brooms, Clean Sweep Down Fore And Aft,

Empty All Toilet Cans Over The Fantail)

Repaint Your Entire House Once A Month.
Cook All Of Your Food Blindfolded, Groping For Any Spice And Seasoning You Can Get Your Hands On.

Use Eighteen Scoops Of Budget Coffee Grounds Per Pot, And
Allow Each Pot To Sit 5 Hours Before Drinking.

Have Your Neighbor Collect All Your Mail For A Month, Read Your Magazines, And Randomly Lose Every 5th Item.

Spend $20, 000 A Month On A Satellite System For Your Tv, But Only Watch Cnn And The Weather Channel.

Avoid Watching Tv With The Exception Of Movies Which Are Played In The Middle Of The Night. Have The Family Vote On Which Movie To Watch And Then Show A Different One.

Have Your 5-Year-Old Cousin Give You A Haircut With Goat Shears.

Sew Back Pockets To The Front Of Your Pants.

Spend 2 Weeks In The Worst Ports Of Europe, And Call It "World Travel."