"Long time no see" joke
A married man left from work early one Friday afternoon. Instead of going home, however, he squandered the weekend (and his paycheck) partying with the boys.
When he finally returned home on Sunday night, he ran into a barrage of epithets from his wife. After a couple of hours of nagging and berating, his wife asked "How would you like it if you didn't see me for a couple of days?!?"
"That would suit me just fine!!" the man said.
Monday went by, and the man didn't see his wife.
Tuesday went by with the same result.
Wednesday went by with the same result.
Thursday, the swelling went down a bit and he could see her a little, just out of the corner of his left eye.
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