"Mail from a frustrated victim of chain mails: Inbox" joke

I wanted to thank all my friends and family who have forwarded chain letters to me in 2006 & 2007. Because of your kindness and advice.
* I stopped drinking Coca Cola after I found out that it's good for removing toilet stains.
* I stopped going to the movies for fear of sitting on a needle infected with AIDS.
* I smell like a wet dog since I stopped using deodorants because they cause cancer.
* I don't leave my car in the parking lot or any other place and sometimes I even have to walk about 7 blocks for fear that someone will drug me with a perfume sample and try to rob me.
* I also stopped answering the phone for fear that they may ask me to dial a stupid number and then I get a phone bill from hell with calls to Uganda, Singapore and Tokyo.
* I also stopped drinking anything out of a can for fear that I will get sick from the rat feces and urine.
* When I go to parties, I don't look at any girl, no matter how hot she is, for fear that she will take me to a hotel, drug me then take my kidneys and leave me taking a nap in a bathtub full of ice.
* I also donated all my savings to the Amy Bruce account. A sick girl that was about to die in the hospital about 7, 000 times. (Poor girl! she's been 7 since 1993...)
* I went bankrupt from bounced checks that I made expecting the $15, 000 that Microsoft and AOL were supposed to send me when I participated in their special e-mail program would arrive soon.
* My free Nokia phone never arrived and neither did the free passes for a paid vacation to Disneyland.
* Still open to help some from Bulgaria who wants to use my account to transfer his uncle property of some hundred millions $.
* Made some Hundred wishes before forwarding those Ganesh Vandana, Tirupathi Balaji pics etc.. now most of those' Wishes' are already married(to someone else)
IMPORTANT NOTE:
If you do not send this e-mail to at least 1246 people
in the next 10
seconds, a bird will SH** on your head today at
6: 30pm.