"Making A Will" joke
An elderly spinster called a lawyer's office and told the receptionist she wanted to see a lawyer about having a will prepared.
The receptionist suggested they set up an appointment for a convenient time for the spinster to come into the office. The spinster replied, "You must understand, I've lived alone all my life, I rarely see anyone, and I don't like to go out. Would it be possible for the lawyer to come to my house?"
The receptionist checked with the attorney who agreed and he went to the spinster's home for the meeting to discuss her estate and the will.
The lawyer's first question was. "Would you please tell me what you have in assets and how you'd like them to be distributed under your will?"
She replied, "Besides the furniture and accessories you see here, I have $100, 000 in my savings account at the bank."
The lawyer asked, "How would you like the $100, 000 distributed?"
The spinster said, "As I have told you, I've lived a reclusive life, people have hardly noticed me, so I'd like to spend $95, 000 on my funeral.
The lawyer remarked, "Well, for $95, 000 you will be able to have a funeral that will certainly be noticed and will leave a lasting impression! But tell me," he continued, "What would you like to do with the remaining 5, 000?"
The spinster replied, "I've never married, I've lived alone almost my entire life and in fact I've never slept with a man. Before I die, I'd like to use the $5, 000 to arrange for a man to sleep with me."
"This is a very unusual request," the lawyer said, "But I'll see what I can do and get back with you."
That evening the lawyer was at home telling his wife about the eccentric spinster and her weird request. After thinking about how much she could do around the house with $5, 000, and with a bit of coaxing, she got her husband to agree to provide the service himself.
The next morning she drove him to the spinster's house and waited while he went into the house. She waited for over an hour, but her husband didn't come out. So she blew the car horn.
Shortly the upstairs bedroom window opened, the lawyer stuck his head out and yelled, "Pick me up in a couple of days! She's going to let the County bury her!"
In a small town some where in Illinois lies a family. It consisted of a husband, wife, three sons, and a daughter. One of the sons had a terrible secret.
"Dad, I don't know how to tell you this, but I'm gay," said the son.
The Dad was furious he more...
Q: Why are women so bad at mathematics?
A: Because men keep telling them that this...
|------------------------------------|
... is 12 inches.
Four men went to play golf.
Three of them headed to the first tee and the fourth went into the clubhouse to take care of the bill.
The three men started talking and bragging about their sons.
The first man told the others, "My son is a home builder, and more...
A keen country lad applied for a salesman's job at a city department store. In fact it was the biggest store in Canada - you could get anything there.
The boss asked him, "Have you ever been a salesman before?" "Yes, I was a salesman in the country" said more...
One day a little girl came up to Santa Clause and sat on his lap. He said what do you want for Christmas. She said I want a Barbie and G.I. Joe. He said, I thought Barbie is suppose to come with Ken. She said, Barbie comes with G.I. Joe, she fakes it with Ken.