"Marriage!!!" joke

Getting married is very much like going to a continental
restaurant with friends. You order what you want, then when you
see what the other fellow has, you wish you had ordered that.

Marriage is an institution in which a man loses his bachelor's
degree and the woman gets her master's.
There are three kind of rings:-
Engagement ring, Wedding ring, Suffering.
Married life is very frustrating. In the first year of marriage,
the man speaks and the woman listens. In the second year, the
woman speaks and the man listens. In the third year, they both
speak and the neighbours listen.
When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be
sure of one thing: either the car is new or the wife is new.