"Marriage Quotes 5" joke

Marriage Quotes 5
Love, you can't start it like a car, you can't stop it with a gun. - George Bernard Shaw
One cardinal rule of marriage should never be forgotten: "Give little, give seldom, and above all, give grudgingly." Otherwise, what could have been a proper marriage could become an orgy of sexual lust. - Ruth Smythers, Marriage advice for women, 1894
I'd like to get married because I like the idea of a man being required by law to sleep with me every night. - Carrie Snow
By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher... and that is a good thing for any man. - Socrates
Marriage: A ceremony in which rings are put on the finger of the lady and through the nose of the gentleman. - Herbert Spencer
Someone once asked me why women don't gamble as much as men do and I gave the commonsensical reply that we don't have as much money. That was a true but incomplete answer. In fact, women's total instinct for gambling is satisfied by marriage. - Gloria Steinem
If you meet somebody who tells you that he loves you more than anybody in the whole wide world, don't trust him. It means he experiments. A life without love in it is like a heap of ashes upon a deserted hearth; with the fire dead, the laughter stilled, and the light extinguished. - Frank P. Tebbetts
At American weddings, the quality of food is inversely proportional to the social position of the bride and the groom. - Calvin Trillin
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man. - Lana Turner
I do not see the EEC as a great love affair. It is more like nine desperate middle-aged couples with failing marriages meeting at a Brussels hotel for a group grope. - Tynan
The first time you buy a house, you see how pretty the paint is and buy it. The second time, you look to see if the basement has termites. It's the same with husbands. - Lupe Valez
Marriage is the only adventure open to the cowardly. - Voltaire
Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution. - Mae West
Bachelors should be heavily taxed. It is not fair that some men should be happier than others. - Oscar Wilde
Long engagements give people the opportunity of finding out each other's character before marriage, which is never advisable. - Oscar Wilde
Why are women so much more interesting to men than men are to women? - Virginia Woolf