"Men & Marriage One-Liners 4" joke

How is an ex-husband like an inflamed appendix?
It caused you a lot of pain, and after it was removed you found out you didn’t need it anyway!

What do men and pantyhose have in common?
They either cling, run or don’t fit right in the crotch!

How do we know men invented maps?
Who else would make an inch into a mile?

Why do men want to marry virgins?
They can’t stand criticism.

I went to the County Fair. They had one of those “Believe it or not? ” Shows. They had a man born with a penis and a brain.

What do you have when you have two little balls in your hand?
A man’s undivided attention.

What are two reasons why men don’t mind their own business?
1. No mind.
2. No business.

Why are men like laxatives?
They irritate the shit out of you.

What do you call an intelligent man in America?
A tourist.

When you want a man to play with you, wear a full-length black nightgown with buttons all over it. Sure it’s uncomfortable, but it makes you look just like his remote control.

Why don’t woman have men’s brains?
Because they don’t have penises to put them in.

Did you hear about the new “morning after pill” for men?
It changes their blood type.

Why do men snore when they lay on their backs?
Because their balls fall over their asshole and they vapor-lock.

What do you call a woman who can suck a golf ball through 50 feet of garden hose?
Darling.

Men are always whining about how we’re suffocating them. Personally, I think if you can hear them whining, you’re not pressing hard enough on the pillow!