"Men & Marriage One-Liners 8" joke

What is the difference between men and pigs?
Pigs don’t turn into men when they drink.

Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring and good-looking?
Because all those men already have boyfriends.

What is it when a woman talks nasty to a man?
$3. 99 a minute.

What is the definition of “making love”?
Something a woman does while a guy is screwing her.

What do you do with a bachelor who thinks he’s God’s gift?
Exchange him.

Why do bachelors like smart women?
Opposites attract.

Why don’t women blink during foreplay?
They don’t have enough time.

What’s the difference between a husband and a boyfriend?
About forty-five minutes.

How many men does it take to shingle a roof?
It depends on how thin you slice them.

Why did God create men?
Because a vibrator can’t mow the lawn.

What do you do if your boyfriend walks out?
You shut the door.

So many men - so many reasons not to sleep with any of them.

If they can put a man on the moon - they should be able to put them all there.

Tell him you’re not his type - you have a pulse.

Never let your man’s mind wander - its too little to be let out alone.

Go for younger men. You might as well - they never mature anyway.

Never marry a man for money. You’ll have to earn every penny.

Men are all the same - they just have different faces so you can tell them apart.

Definition of a bachelor: a man who has missed the opportunity to make some woman miserable.