"Millennium Pie" joke

A long, long time ago…
I can still remember how
Computers used to make me smile.
And I knew if I had my chance,
That I could make electrons dance,
And maybe I’d be happy for a while.

But January made me shiver,
it chilled me deep down in my liver.
Bad news I’d collected…
I couldn’t get connected.

I can’t remember back that day
When I first knew the Y2K.
But something touched me anyway…
The day computers died.

So … bye, bye to the next digit of Pi.
Ran my PC on some DC but the voltage was dry.
And good ol’ boys were sending e-mail replies,
Saying this will be the day I retire…
This will be the day I retire.

Can you write in C plus plus?
And do you have faith in your local bus,
If the driver tells you so?
Do you believe in Compaq’s goals?
Can software save your mortal soul?
And can you teach me how to type real slow?

Well I thought that you were prepared
‘Cause your memo said you weren’t impaired.
Your stationery’s swell
But you can go to hell.

I was a lonely teenage Unix hack
With an incantation and a modem jack
but I knew the cat had left the sack,
The day computers died I started singin’…

Bye, bye to the next digit of Pi.
Ran my PC on some DC but the voltage was dry.
And good ol’ boys were sending e-mail replies
Saying this will be the day I retire…
This will be the day I retire.

Now for 10 years we’ve ignored the threat
And we haven’t solved the problem yet.
But that’s not how it used to be
When the Luddites read for the king and queen.
With a light they filled with kerosene
And some manuals they stole from you and me.

And while Bill Gates was looking pleased,
Time stole his monopolies.
The courtroom was adjourned,
No verdict was returned.

While Apple tried a colour scheme,
The engineers returned to steam.
And we had purges of their dreams
The day computers died…

We were singin’…
Bye, bye to the next digit of Pi.
Ran my PC on some DC but the voltage was dry
And good ol’ boys were sending e-mail replies,
Saying this will be the day I retire.
This will be the day I retire.

Intel inside in an iron smelter.
The food leftover from my fallout shelter.
Twinkies old and aging fast.
I’d rather eat the grass.
Q and A tried for a system crash
With the tester on the sidelines in a cast.

Now the timeshare net was running Doom,
While mainframes played a marching tune.
We all tried to log in
Oh, but we never could begin.

‘Cause Cobol tried to take the field,
And Hollerith refused to yield.
Do you recall what was revealed
The day computers died?

We started singing…
Bye, bye to the next digit of Pi.
Ran my PC on some DC but the voltage was dry.
And good ol’ boys were sending e-mail replies
Saying this will be the day I retire…
This will be the day I retire.

There we were all in a state…
A generation - really late,
With no time left to start again.
So come on mouse be nimble, mouse be quick,
Don’t let my spreadsheet data stick.

‘Cause data is the Devil’s only friend.
As I watched him on my screen,
My hands and face were drenched in steam.
No angel born in hell
Could run that stupid shell.

And as the ball climbed high into the night,
To call the sacrificial night,
I saw Dick Clark laughing with delight…
The day computers died.

I met a girl with mobile phone
And I asked her for a dial tone,
But she just smiled and turned away…

I went down to the software store
Where I’d seen computers years before,
But the man there said the games there wouldn’t play.
And in the streets the children screamed,
The lovers cried and the poets dreamed.
Their interface was spoken…
The Internet was broken.

And the three things I connect to most,
The website, Lan and the network host,
Every single one was toast…
The day computers died.

They were singin’…
Bye, bye to the next digit of Pi.
Ran my PC on some DC but the voltage was dry
And good ol’ boys were sending e-mail replies.
Saying this will be the day I retire…
This will be the day I retire.