"Miracle!" joke
An alter boy is in church cleaning the pews when he sees a cripple struggle through the doors of the church and make his way to the font of holy water.
The boy watches as the cripple manages to get up the step, sprinkles holy water on his legs and then throws his crutches away.
The alter boy runs to get the priest and explains what he saw.
"It's a miracle", exclaims the priest, "where is he now?"
"Flat on his ass by the holy water", says the boy.
A couple of women were playing golf one sunny Saturday morning. The first of the twosome teed off and watched in horror as her ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the next hole.
Indeed, the ball hit one of the men, and he immediately clasped his hands more...
Q: What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a lightbulb?
A: You can un-screw a lightbulb!
What is the definition of eternity?
Four blondes in four cars at a four way intersection.
Person 1: Knock, Knock
Person 2: Who's there?
Person 1: Cows go.
Person 2: Cows go who?
Person 1: No, silly! Cows go moo!