"Mom" joke
My mom is a retired small time criminal. In her defense, she wasn't the worst parent in the world. She raised me well and taught me common sense stuff, like when she taught me to always look both ways before shoplifting. On the weekends, she'd take me with her to Papa Gino's...not for pizza but to meet her pot dealer. To this day, whenever a friend suggests having lunch at Papa Gino's I scream "You're just trying to score a nickelbag...and you're not gonna get any pizza...I'm hungry...I wanna go home!!"
A very attractive lady goes up to a bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestures alluringly to the bartender who comes over immediately. When he arrives, she seductively signals that he should bring his face closer to hers. When he does, she begins to gently caress his full more...