"More Mistakes in Publication" joke

More mistakes in publication,
-Sheer stockings. Designed for fancy dress, but so serviceable that lots of women wear nothing else.
-Stock up and save. Limit: one.
-Save regularly in our bank. You'll never reget it.
-We build bodies that last a lifetime. Offer expires December 31 or while supplies last.
-This is the model home for your future. It was panned by Better Homes and Gardens.
-For Sale-Diamonds $20; microscopes $15.
-For Rent: 6-room hated apartment.
-Man, honest. Will take anything.
-Wanted: chambermaid in rectory. Love in, $200 a month. References required.
-Wanted: Part-time married girls for soda fountain in sandwich shop.
-Man wanted to work in dynamite factory. Must be willing to travel.
-Used Cars: Why go elsewhere to be cheated? Come here first!
-Christmans tag-sale. Handmade gifts for the hard-to-find person.
-Modular Sofas. Only $299. For rest or fore play.
-Wanted: Hair-cutter. Excellent growth potential.
-Wanted. Man to take care of cow that does not smoke or drink.
-3-year-old teacher need for pre-school. Experience preferred.
-Our experienced Mom will care for your child. Fenced yard, meals, and smacks included.
-Our bikinis are exciting. They are simply the tops.
-Auto Repair Service. Free pick-up and delivery. Try us once, you'll never go anywhere again.
-See ladies blouses. 50% off!
-Wanted: Preparer of food. Must be dependable, like the food business, and be willing to get hands dirty.
-Illiterate? Write today for free help.
-Girl wanted to assist magician in cutting-off-head illusion. Blue Cross and salary.
-Wanted. Widower with school-age children requires person to assume general housekeeping duties. Must be capable of contributing to growth of family.
-Mixing bowl set designed to please a cook with round bottom for efficient beating.
-Mother's helper-peasant working conditions.
-Semi-Annual after-Christmas Sale.
-And now, the Superstore-unequaled in size, unmatched in variety, unrivaled inconvenience.
-We will oil your sewing machine and adjust tension in your home for $1.00.