"More Redneck Etiquette" joke

WEDDINGS

Livestock usually is a poor choice for a wedding gift.

Is it okay to bring a date to a wedding? Not if you are the groom.

When dancing, never remove undergarments, no matter how hot it is.

A bridal veil made of window screen is not only cost effective but also a proven fly deterrent.

For the groom, at least rent a tux. A leisure suit with a cumberbund and a clean bowling shirt can create a nasty appearance.

Though uncomfortable, say yes to socks and shoes for this special occasion.

DRIVING ETIQUETTE

Dim your headlights for approaching vehicles, even if the gun is loaded and the deer is in sight.

When approaching a four-way stop, the vehicle with the largest tires always has the right of way.

Never tow another car using pantihose and duct tape.

When sending your wife down the road with a gas can, it is impolite to ask her to bring back beer.

Never relieve yourself from a moving vehicle, especially when driving.

Do not remove the seats from the car so that all your kids can fit in.

Do not lay rubber while traveling in a funeral procession.