"More pearls of wisdom" joke

Quotes:

1. Screwing up takes practice. I think I'm well rehearsed

2. Life's a bitch. Deal with it

3. (Actual refrigerator magnet): Genitorturers homogenized my honor student

4. Life is hard compared to what?!

5. Out of my mind. Back in 5 minutes

6. I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it

7. He who thinks he can fly ends up with cracked skull

8. He who goes to sleep with itchy butt wakes up with smelly fingers

9. One of the top signs that Y2K hype has gone too far is that millions are converting to Judaism so the year is 5760

10. The Chinese calendar is 2000 years younger than the Jewish calendar. So that means the Jews had to go 2000 years without Chinese food.