"More random quotes" joke

You don't sew with a fork, so I see no reason to eat with knitting needles. --Miss Piggy, on eating Chinese Food

Collaboration, n.: A literary partnership based on the false assumption that the other fellow can spell.

The difference between science and the fuzzy subjects is that science requires reasoning while those other subjects merely require scholarship. --Robert Heinlein

Whom computers would destroy, they must first drive mad.

An American is a person who isn't afraid to criticize the President but is always polite to traffic cops.

Graduate life -- it's not just a job, it's an indenture.

Hlade's Law: If you have a difficult task, give it to a lazy person -- they will find an easier way to do it.

There's no time like the present for postponing what you ought to be doing.

Taxes, n.: Of life's two certainties, the only one for which you can get an extension.

Birth, n.: The first and direst of all disasters. --Ambrose Bierce,' The Devil's Dictionary'

Teamwork is essential -- it allows you to blame someone else.

A budget is just a method of worrying before you spend money... as well as afterward.