"Murphy's Laws of Combat..." joke

.. 1. You are not superman.
2. Recoilless rifles aren't.
3. Don't look conspicuous. It draws fire.
4. Never draw fire. It irritates everyone around you.
5. When in doubt, empty the magazine.
6. Never share a foxhole with anyone braver than you are.
7. Your weapon was made by the lowest bidder.
8. If you can't remember, the Claymore is pointed towards you.
9. All five second grenade fuses are three seconds.
10. Try to look unimportant. They may be low on ammo.
11. The enemy diversion you are ignoring is the main attack.
12. The easy way is always mined.
13. The important things are very simple.
14. The simple things are very hard.
15. When you have secured an area, don't forget to tell the enemy, and CNN
16. Incoming fire has right-of-way.
17. Teamwork is essential. It gives the enemy more people to shoot at.
18. Friendly fire isn't.
19. Anything you do can get you shot, including doing nothing.
20. The only thing more accurate than incoming enemy fire is incoming friendly fire.