"My wife" joke

My wife and I are inseparable.

The other night it took six policemen and two dogs to pull us apart

A very attractive lady goes up to a bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestures alluringly to the bartender who comes over immediately. When he arrives, she seductively signals that he should bring his face closer to hers. When he does, she begins to gently caress his full more...

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Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

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There's a Space Shuttle mission to the moon with 2 monkeys and a woman on board.

The headquarters in the US calls:"Monkey #1, Monkey #1 report to comms for instructions."
He sits down and he is told to release the pressure in compartment 1, increase the more...

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My mate Dave is serving a life sentence for something he didn't do.
He didn't wipe his fingerprints off the knife.

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What is the definition of eternity?
Four blondes in four cars at a four way intersection.

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Heaney:In case you forgot, the legs do not connect the head to the ass, that is this thing called a torso. If he had short legs then his ass would only be closer to the ground.
Funny Joke? 71 vote(s). 80% are positive. 1 comment(s).