"New Computer Viruses!" joke

John Bobbit Virus--Removes a vital part of your hard disk and then re-attaches it. (But it will never work again.)•Oprah Winfrey Virus--Your 850 MB hard drive suddenly shrinks to 200 MB, and then slowly expands back to 850 MB. •Politically Correct Virus--Never calls itself a "virus", but instead refers to itself as an "electronic micro-organism". •Right to Life Virus--Won't allow you to delete a file, regardless of how old it is. If you attempt to erase a file, it requires you to first see a counselor about possible alternatives. •Government Economist Virus--Nothing works, but all your diagnostic software says everything is fine. •Federal Bureaucrat Virus--Divides your hard disk into thousands of little units, each of which does practically nothing, but all of which claim to be the most important part of your computer. •AT&T Virus--Every 3 minutes it tells you what great service you are getting. •MCI Virus-- Every 3 minutes it reminds you that you are paying too much for the AT&T Virus. •Sprint Virus--Every 3 minutes it tells you that it's better than the AT&T and MCI Virus. •PBS Virus--Your computer stops every few minutes to ask for money. •Health Care Virus--Tests your system for a day, finds nothing wrong with it, and sends you a bill for $4, 500. •New York Jets Virus--Makes your Pentium II 266 MHz computer perform like a 12 MHz 286 computer. •LAPD Virus--It claims it feels threatened by the other files on your PC and erases them in "self-defense". •O. J. Virus--Claims that it did not, could not, and would not delete two of your most important files and vows to find the virus that did it. •Ross Perot Virus--Activates every component in your system, just before the whole damn thing quits. •Ted Turner Virus--Colorizes your monochrome monitor. •Dan Quayle Virus--Their is sumthing rong wit your're komputer, we jsut can't figyour out watt.

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