"New Languages Recognized By The Oakland School Board" joke

Ebonics: "Why we be talkin' like you? Is you listening
anyway?"
Redneconics: " 'Taint sure, Clem, baa I think he
said he wanns to rape all the white women. Less git 'em!"
Blueblonics: "I say, Tad, what are they fighting
about now? You know I can't make out a word mumsy's servants say."
911onics: "I'm sorry, where's the emergency? I can't
understand a thing you're saying."
Coponics: "You're all under arrest under Section
1929 of the penal code. Sergeant, get those blacks and rednecks in
front of the firing squad, the women in the back seat of the patrol
car, and issue Mr. Tadington a ticket."
Dowonics: "1929? I'm sorry, I don't understand."
Moronics: "National Aglet is at 1929? Buy more!
We're going over 68 today!"
Globalecononics: "We're sorry Mrs. Jones, we know
you've worked here at National Aglet for 68 years. But you must
understand that a 14 year old Thai girl is simply a more desirable
employee."
Tvnewonics: "... and police say they don't know
why the 85 year old grandmother was so distraught. When we return,
more good news from Wall Street, as the Dow sets another new
record. We'll have an in-depth look after these messages."
Towerofbabelonics: "Although I must admit, Tad,
that it 'tis a blessing the workers CAN'T talk to each other, or they
might figure out that there's no staircase in the blueprints."