"New phobias" joke

"Hey, this is a nude beach. I ain't getting in that cold water!" - Shrinkaphobia
"Get that *^%#*# vodka bottle away from me!!" - Carmenelectraphobia
"He's coming straight for us - with his left turn signal on!" - Oldfartophobia
"You have to push 'Start' to turn the damn computer off?!" - Windophobia
"I won't go to your frat house to eat gyros and watch a tape of the Israel Philharmonic Orchestra on your old Sony VCR!" - ThetaFetaMetaBetaphobia
"No! Don't call the plumber!!!" - Buttcrackaphobia
"No, I don't want to watch 'Friends.' That blonde chick freaks me out." - Phoebephobia
"Um, Doctor, why are you putting on that rubber glove?" - Probeophobia
"You're busy Saturday? Well, how about next weekend then?" - Rentanotherpornophobia
"It's NOT my imagination! Senator Helms is looking at me "that" way again!" - Homophobophobia
"Honey, I bought a Corvette!" - Smallpenisphobia