"No Chewing Matter" joke

TALL, young and beautiful Moni, a feature writer in the Friday Times of Lahore, a paper edited by her sister, Jugnu Sethi (wife of publisher Najam Sethi), was in Delhi for a few days. While discussing problems facing the two countries, she agreed that in neither was family planning being taken as seriously as it deserved.

She was given many instances of the bungling done in India. She
was told of the fate of Raj Kumari Amrit Kaur's flirtation with the rhythm method.

The latter had introduced rosaries with beads of three colours indicating safe, doubtful and unsafe periods for sexual intercourse. She did not realise that most humans mated at night when colours were not visible. So down the drain went a few crore rupees.

Moni capped it with an anecdote from Pakistan. Volunteers were recruited from colleges and sent out to villages to explain the importance of limiting numbers of children. They were given condoms to be distributed free to those who wanted them. One enthusiastic lad explained the programme to a gathering of villagers.

He picked out the lustiest, newly married boy and gave him three condoms. He asked him to try them out that night. The next morning he asked the youngster how it had gone.

Handing back two unused condoms, the lad replied,' Chith chith kay thak gaya, eh galey thalley hi naheen langhya.' (It was no good; I chewed and chewed this one but could not get it down my throat.)