"Once upon a time, there lived a little red man, an..." joke

Once upon a time, there lived a little red man, and he lived in a little red house. He was having a bath in his little red bath tub when the doorbell rang. So he got out of his little red bath tub and put his little red towel around his waist. He ran down his stairs and opened the door to the milkman. Suddenly, his towel slipped off, and the milkman gasped in horror and ran for his life. He darted across a road, still terrified, and was tragically run over. The moral of the story: Never cross the road when the little red man is flashing!

Freedom is not the right to do as you please, but the liberty to do as you ought.

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Your Moma is so poor when I saw her wobbling down the strret with one shoe, I hollered-"lost a shoe", and she said-"Nope... just found one..."

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Your momas so fat she left the house on high heels and came back on flip flops

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your mumma is so fat when she stands on the scales the scales say TO BE CONTINUED
your momma is so dumb when she gets locked in the supermarket she dies of starvation

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your momma is so stupid that she put a ruler under her bed to see how long she slept.

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