"Out Late With The Guys" joke
A few of Darren's co-workers invited him out for a few drinks after work. Darren declined, explaining that his wife didn't like him to go out drinking with the guys. One of the co-workers suggested a way to overcome the problem. "When you get home tonight," he said, "sneak into the bedroom, slide down under the sheets, gently pull down your wife's panties, and give her oral sex. She'll love it. Trust me, she'll never complain about you being out late with the boys again."
Darren thought about it and decided to give it a try. He went out with the guys and had a great time.
When he got home late that night, he did just as his co-worker had suggested. His wife moaned and groaned with pleasure. After a while, he realized that he had to take a leak, so he whispered that he'd be right back, got out of bed and headed to the bathroom.
When he opened the bathroom door, he was shocked to see his wife sitting there. "How did you get in here so quickly?" he asked nervously.
"Shhhhhhh!" his wife replied. "You'll wake up my mother!"
In a crowded city at a crowded bus stop, a beautiful blonde was waiting for the bus. She was decked out in a tight leather mini skirt with matching tight leather boots and jacket. As the bus rolled up and it became her turn to get on, she became aware that her skirt was too more...
A lawyer and a blonde are sitting next to each other on a long flight from LA to NY. The lawyer leans over to her and asks if she would like to play a fun game. The blonde just wants to take a nap, so she politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few more...
A married man was spending the afternoon with his girlfriend when she asked that he shave his beard.
"I do like your beard, John, but I would really love to see your handsome face," she said.
"My wife loves this beard, honey," he replied. "I more...
A guy walks into a pub and sees a sign hanging over the bar which reads:
Cheese Sandwich: $1.50
Chicken Sandwich: $2.50
Hand Job: $10.00
Checking his wallet for the necessary payment, he walks up to the bar and beckons to one of the three exceptionally attractive more...
Q. What is the difference between a drug dealer and a hooker?
A. A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again