"Parrot gets around" joke
Yet another parrot joke:
Last week a woman entered a local pet-shop with the intention of purchasing
a talking bird. However, it seems a lot of people are going to receive
talking parrots for Christmas this year, as the shopkeeper had sold her
entire stock of speaking pets, except for one rather attractive Macaw.
It turned out that this bird had lived in the local massage parlour prior
to being sold to the pet-shop. Despite this the woman purchased the Macaw
and took him home to show the family. As soon as she had the bird settled
on a perch at her home he looked around and said:
"Arrrk, new joint, new madam! Arrrk!"
Later that day the woman's two daughters arrived home from high school.
Upon seeing the teenagers the Macaw yelled:
"Arrrk, new joint, new madam, new girls! Arrrk!"
Then father came home from the office and when our feathered friend saw him
the bird squawked:
"Arrrk, new joint, new madam, new girls, same old customers. G'day Jimmy!"
A young woman goes into the doctor's office for a checkup. As she takes off her blouse, he notices a red "H" on her chest. "How did you get that mark on your chest?" asks the doctor. "Oh, my boyfriend went to Harvard and he's so proud of it that he never more...
Two cats: Felix & Un-deux-trois, decided to have a race to see who could swim across the river first.Guess who won? Felix! Because Un-deux-trois cat sank.
(Un deux trois quatre cinq)
Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
Three ministers - a Presbyterian, a Methodist, and a Baptist - and their wives were on a cruise. A tidal wave came up and swamped the ship; they all drowned, and before long, they were standing before St. Peter.
First came the Presbyterian and his wife. St. Peter more...
2 Scousers are riding along the M62 from Manchester to Liverpool on a motorbike. They break down and start hitching a lift. A friendly trucker stops to see if he can help and the scousers ask him for a lift.
He tells them he has no room in the wagon as he is carrying 20, more...