"Profitable Investment" joke
On their wedding night, a young bride approached her awaiting husband and demanded $20 for their first love-making encounter. Being in a highly aroused state, the husband readily agreed.
This scenario was repeated every time they made love for the next 30 years, him thinking it was a cute way for her to buy new clothes, etc.
Arriving home around noon one day, she found her husband in a very drunken state. Over the next several minutes, she heard of the ravages of financial ruin caused by corporate downsizing and its effects on a 50 year old executive.
In a calm fashion, she handed him a bank book showing deposits and interest for 15 years totaling nearly $1 million dollars. Pointing across the parking lot, she gestured toward the local bank, while handing him stock certificates worth nearly $2 million dollars and informing him that he was the largest stockholder in the bank. She told him that for 30 years she had charged him each time they had sex, and this was the result of her investments.
By now, he was distraught and banging his head against the side of the car. When she asked him why the disappointment at such good news, he replied, "If I had known what you were doing, I would have given you all of my business!"
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