"Quickfire Lawyer Gags" joke

Q: How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?
A: His lips move

Q: What is the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?
A: There are skid marks in front of the dog.

Q: What do you call a lawyer with an I. Q. of 50?
A: Your honour.

Q: Why won't sharks attack lawyers?
A: Professional courtesy.

Q: When lawyers die, why are they buried in a hole 24 feet deep?
A: Because deep down, they are all nice guys

Q: What is the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of crap?
A: a bucket

Q: What is the difference between God and a lawyer?
A: God doesn't think he's a lawyer.

Q: What does a lawyer and a sperm have in common?
A: Both have about a one in 3 million chance of becoming a human being.

Q: What is the difference between a lawyer and a gigolo?
A: A gigolo only screws one person at a time.

Q: What do lawyers use as contraceptives?
A: Their personalities.