"Quotes" joke

"I found my wife in bed naked one day next to a Vietnamese guy and a black guy. I took a picture and sent it to Benetton. You never know."
** Franck Dubosc
"What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere? 'Hold my purse.'"
** Francois Morency
"Luge strategy? Lie flat and try not to die."
** Tim Steeves
"Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake whole relationships."
** Jimmy Shubert
"My girlfriend always laughs during sex-no matter what she's reading."
**Emo Philips
"Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where he lives, but he never forgets (oral sex) no matter how bad it is."
** Lenny Clarke
"I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with 'Guess' on it. I said, 'Thyroid problem?'"
** Emo Philips
"Honesty is the key to a relationship. If you can fake that, you're in."
** Rich Jeni
"Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men.
Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps."
** Ren Hicks
"Things you'll never hear a woman say: 'My, what an attractive scrotum!'"
** Jeff Green
"I read somewhere that 77 per cent of all the mentally ill live in poverty.
Actually, I'm more intrigued by the 23 per cent who are apparently doing quite well for themselves."
** Emo Philips