"Real Classified Ads 02" joke

These are supposedly actual classified ads that have appeared in various papers across the world.
For sale: lee majors (6 million dollar man) - $50
Nordic track $300 - hardly used - call chubbie at:
Bill’s septic cleaning - “we haul american made products”
Shakespeare’s pizza - free chopsticks
Hummels - largest selection ever - “if it’s in stock, we have it! ”
President’s choice - cow manure - 2 33lb bags - $5
Harrisburg postal employees gun club
Georgia peaches - california grown - 89 cents lb.
Nice parachute - never opened - used once - slightly stained

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