"Real Classified Ads 04" joke

These are supposedly actual classified ads that have appeared in various papers across the world.
Lawyer says client is not that guilty.
Ground beast: 99 cents lb.
Open house - body shapers toning salon - free coffee & donuts
Free puppies…part german shepherd, part dog
Free puppies: 1/2 cocker spaniel - 1/2 sneaky neighbor dog
Free yorkshire terrier. 8 years old. unpleasant little dog.
German shephard. 85 lbs. neutered. speaks german. free.
Cute kitten for sale, 2 cents or best offer
Free: farm kittens. ready to eat.
Kittens 8 weeks old - seeking good christian home.