"Realistically and Hypothetically...." joke
A little boy came home from school and his homework assignment was to find out what the difference was between hypothetically and realistically... so he asked his dad.His dad said, "Well, go ask your mom if she would sleep with the mail man for $1,000,000.He went and asked and came back and said, "She said yes"."Well", said the dad, "Go ask your sister the same question."He did and came back and said, "She said yes."And the dad said, "Now go ask your brother the same thing."He did and came back and said, "He said yes too!"And the dad said, "Well hypothetically we're sitting on three million dollars, realistically we're living with 2 whores and a fag!
A trucker picks up a hitchhiker who climbs up in the cab and notices a monkey on the dashboard.
After a few miles, he asks the driver what the monkey is for.
The driver says "I'll show you," and with that he hits the monkey with the back of his hand, sending more...
A police officer came upon a terrible wreck where the driver and passenger had been killed. As he looked upon the wreckage a little monkey came out of the brush and hopped around the crashed car. The officer looked down at the monkey and said, "I wish you could more...
There's a Space Shuttle mission to the moon with 2 monkeys and a woman on board.
The headquarters in the US calls:"Monkey #1, Monkey #1 report to comms for instructions."
He sits down and he is told to release the pressure in compartment 1, increase the more...
Why aren't chick's farts nearly as loud as men's?
Because they don't stop talking long enough to build up any back pressure.
How is a woman like a cop car?
They both make lots of noise to let you know they are coming.
What did Adam say when he more...
I'm hungry:
"I could eat the crotch out of a dead leper's undies."
"I could eat the horse and chase the jockey."
"So hungry I'd eat a shit sandwich, only I don't like bread."
"I could eat the arse out of a rag doll more...