"Reasons to own a cat over a dog" joke

* Cats rule. Dogs drool.

* Cats rub your leg when they want affection, not when they're horny.

* Cats use a litter box. Dogs use your leg.

* In 1996, over 10,000 US deaths were attributed to a dog owner's choking on saliva during morning wake-up licks.

* Cats always land on their feet. Dogs won't even let you throw them.

* Cats let you kick them when you're stressed out.

* Cats will wait until you've read your morning paper before tearing it to shreds.

* Cats look cute sleeping on the TV. Dogs crash right in front of the screen.

* No one has ever had to "Beware of the Cat."

* Cats bury their crap. Dogs dig up others'.

* Cats have better things to do than stick their nose in your crotch.

* Cats lay on the car in the heat. Dogs in heat lay the car.

* Why do you think they call it "Dog Breath?"

* Garfield. Odie. Enough said.