"Released" joke
A woman woke in the middle of the night to find her husband missing from their bed. In the stillness of the house, she could hear a muffled sound downstairs. She went downstairs and looked all around, finally finding her husband in the basement, crouched in the corner, facing the wall, and sobbing.
"What's wrong with you?" she asked him.
"Remember when your father caught us having sex when you were 16?" he replied.
"And remember he said I had two choices: I could either marry you, or spend the next 20 years in prison."
Baffled, she said, "Yes, I remember, so what?"
"I would have been released today."
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