"Religious Views of Life" joke

Not for those who take their religion TOO seriously...
Taoism:
Shit happens
Confucianism:
Confucius said: "Shit happens"
Buddhism:
If shit happens, it isn't really shit.
Zen:
What's the sound of shit happening?
Hinduism:
This shit has happened before!
Islam:
If shit happens, it is the will of Allah!
Protestantism:
Let shit happen to someone else.
Catholicism:
If shit happens, you deserve it.
Judaism:
Why does this shit always happen to us?
Atheism:
I don't believe this shit!
Agnosticism:
What's this shit?